I am starting to feel really awful.
I was hopeful because I had been feeling great for a few weeks since I found out I was pregnant.
By great I mean on anti-nausea tablets every 8 hours and not vomiting much!
I was also having these respites- from about 1-3pm I felt quite good, and was able to get up and do things.
I think those days might be gone!
I’ve just been feeling so emotional this morning because my beautiful daughter has been coming to our bedroom door upset wanting to see me, and Jon has to say: “Mummy is sleeping, we can’t see Mummy now.”
And I lie there silently crying, because I know when she hears me crying or vomiting she gets scared and upset.
My husband said she has been whispering my name to herself this morning.
The guilt about not spending time with her when she is only 20 months is so immense, so different to last time when I lay in bed lonely, but alone- not having to care for anyone else.
What hope can I offer myself?
Ok- pep talk:
Last time I felt better at about 35 weeks: only 28 weeks to go.
This is my last pregnancy- ever. I never have to do this again.
I have a lovely husband and family who will look after Amélie and I.
But mostly, God will not give me a burden I cannot bear: if it is happening, I can bear it.
And so I go on!!
On with the next task: dressing before Amélie wakes up from her nap!